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Happy Every Day!
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life
Counting
We count the minutes, the hours, the days, the weeks, the years. We count dollars, cents, and credit card balances. We count the number of miles we run or bike, the steps we climb, or the laps we swim. We count calories, carbs, fat grams and the number of pounds we gain or lose. We count. And we count some more.
There are things in life we can’t count. We can’t quantify laughter or tears or the quality of our relationships. We reckon birthdays but we cannot count life. We tally up anniversaries but we cannot count the love we give and we receive. We can enumerate the number of college degrees we earn but we cannot count what we have learned along the way. We can measure the spectrum of wavelengths but we cannot count the number of colors that streak across the sky when we see a sunset or the aurora borealis.
What counts? So simple to say or to to describe or to explain . . . but it’s sometimes so tricky to keep my perspective. Real counting is an intuitive nudge. We know when something is countable when we feel that let-the-bell-toll moment. When life comes together into one brilliant episode of Hugeness.
These moments fill us full with something that we can neither count nor define. Like a bell tolling, the ringing has a roundness that reverberates through us and out into the vastness of the Universe. I consider myself lucky to have experienced such moments. They remind me to stop counting stuff and to start counting — to start making a difference — as a human being
Life. Memories. Experiences. Hugs. Encouragement. True love. Music. Integrity. Contributing. Growing. So many things that I cannot count. So many.
Making Change
Making change. Eleanor Roosevelt wrote in You Learn by Living: “Do the things that interest you and do them with all your heart. Don’t be concerned about whether people are watching you or criticizing you. The chances are that they aren’t paying any attention to you. It’s your attention to yourself that is so stultifying. But you have to disregard yourself as completely as possible. If you fail the first time then you’ll just have to try harder the second time. After all, there’s no real reason why you should fail. Just stop thinking about yourself.” In other words, Just Do It.
A few things that keep me focused while flowing with change:
- As Eleanor says: Just stop thinking about yourself.
- Let your history of reward and success encourage you. Remember a time when you tried something new or different or risky . . . and it really felt great while in the process or it, ultimately, led to a really fun outcome.
- Surround yourself with quotes that inspire you to be bold. Words are powerful.
- Tape up index cards with the definitions of words like courage, brave, risk, happiness, wealth. It is always good to see such large, sometimes seemingly unattainable, words defined into smaller, simpler parts.
- Write about the journey. It secures what you are experiencing to your heart and emboldens you.
- Be happy. Tell your family and friends how happy you are while you are flowing with change.
- Don’t think outside the box. There is no box. Let yourself slip into flow mode.
- Seek the company of generous people who are happy that you are happy. Stay away from naysayers who don’t share your happiness or who feel threatened by your vision.
- When in doubt and you feel you are at a crossroads, flip a coin. By the time the coin lands you will know what you want. This works. If you still feel uncertain after seeing that head or tail or if you find yourself flipping the coin again for 2 out of 3, you will know what your preference is. Go with it and trust yourself.
- Extend love to others. It is always returned and it will guide you as you make change.
- Dissolve fear. Give it the gamma rays and zap it. Let it go. Silence it. Replace fear with trust.
- Pay attention. Always pay attention.
- Think affirmation rather than negation.
- Believe in CAN.
Eleanor also wrote: “Surely, in the light of history, it is more intelligent to hope rather than to fear, to try rather than not to try. For one thing we know beyond all doubt: Nothing has ever been achieved by the person who says, ‘It can’t be done.’”
It can be done. And it will be done if you allow yourself the freedom of choice to make change. Follow the change. Enjoy the change. Be the change.
Nothing that I have written here is new. It has been spoken, written, repeated, and recorded throughout the ages. It has been sermonized and it has been put into song. Repetition of platitudes is not the best teacher. Experience is. Embracing life is. Taking the first step is.
But I somehow seem to need the reminders. And it is empowering to foresee possibility and then feel the zing that coincides believing and knowing deep deep inside. But it involves taking a ride, sometimes on the wild and brave side, to get to the good stuff. Achieving is fantastic, but taking the ride is the true experience. Taking the ride is the change.
The Kind of Stuff You Don’t Hang on the Wall
Stuff that Works . . . This is a GREAT song by Guy Clark. It inspires me to appreciate the “stuff that works” in my life . . . “the kind of stuff you don’t hang on the wall.” Take a listen. It is a really beautiful song.
I read a great affirmation yesterday: “Where there is light there are shadows.”
Living in the Pacific Northwest, we experience a lot of gray days. The sort of days where the horizon line blurs the sky and water into one waterscape. On these days, there are no shadows and there is an etheral feel to the day — akin to floating. The lack of contrast lends itself to getting lost in daydreams. Some find these days extraordinarily gloomy. Drizzle, fog, and low-hanging clouds cast a mood of Waiting. Waiting for the sun to return. When we do get a blue day and the sun is shining, the shadows emerge as well.
It sometimes feels as if the times that have made me the happiest have also cast the darkest shadows. The brightness creates an awareness that life is both awesome and fragile.
Living in the Pacific Northwest, the clouds can, and most likely will, soon return and obscure the sunlight. As I put things into perspective each morning, afternoon, and night, this song reminds me of the truly important things . . . the stuff that works. And there is a LOT of stuff that does work. 
So today? I am focusing on the stuff that works.
The Pool
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What’s in your complaint box?
What’s in your complaint box? Any chance of turning those complaints around and thinking of them as blessings?
I’ve been doing an experiment. Every day I write down as many things that I can think of from the day under the heading: Good Things That Happened Today. It isn’t hard to think of things. As with anything in life — when you pause to take an inventory — there is much more going on than that which skims the surface.
After I finish my Good Things list, I then write as many things that I can think of under the heading: My Takeaways on Life in the Current Moment. When I pause to think of My Takeaways, all sorts of good things start to burble forth — things that hitherto felt like an obstacle or a challenge or a frustration. It’s like magic. The weird stuff suddenly starts to transform into a better place.
For example, imagine that you are making an offer to purchase what you perceive to be your Dream Home. And we’re talking Dream Home, people. You are convinced that this house is It. It is exactly what you want to buy and to live in for the rest of your life — or at the very least the next decade. In your Good Things list, you write: I made an offer on my Dream Home today!!!!!
But then life intervenes. Another offer comes in on the same day as yours, but $10,000 higher than your offer. And to make matters worse for you, their financing is in perfect order. Guess whose offer gets accepted? You feel bummed! That was your house! Not theirs!
The days pass and you search for things to put down on your Good Things list. You might even write under Takeaways: I learned that it is best to remove such high emotion from a business deal. Something like this. But then. Something really crazy happens. You read about an opportunity to go to Ireland and serve as an intern at this amazing art school. It’s your dream!! You apply. You get accepted. Guess what? You’re going to Ireland for a full year! Woot!
This adventure gets listed under Good Things. In addition to recording this adventure to Ireland on your list, you write, I‘m so glad that that house deal fell through! Thank you!!! on the line directly below your entry about the Ireland opportunity. You see the correlation so clearly. In fact — even better yet — you feel the correlation and you experience an understanding that calms your soul and quells your frustrations about the house deal falling through. All is right with the world and you marvel at how things just work out!
You get the idea. The seemingly bad breaks that occur in life have all the potential to set us up for something even better. You just have to be looking. Be aware. Be open to seeing the “bad stuff” as “potential good stuff.” That there are Takeaways, if you only look. Life events aren’t always easy to dissect into lists, but I find that if I really stretch and embrace both the Good Things and the Takeaways . . . I learn a lot about me and how I can be happy in the flow of the present moment.
How about you? Do you want to join me in my Good Things/Takeaway challenge? If you want a PDF to download to get you started, just submit your email address and I’ll send it to you. It’s fun to turn things around to a place that allows you to embrace that which seemed like such a bummer.
As for me? Well, I thought that it was going to be smooth and perfect sailing as I prepared to go forth to Ireland . . . but the art internship fell through — something about something occurred, which meant I wasn’t going away to Ireland for a year.
Now, this unwelcome news certainly wasn’t expected, but I am learning as a result of my daily lists. Instead of listing the loss of my Ireland trip in my Takeaway list, I recorded it immediately in my Good Things list. After all, I am learning about this life stuff in a new way that is changing my mind and my heart. I know that something good is happening right now . . . and I am trimming the unexpected starboard list of the boat that I thought was set to sail for Ireland. It’s a good thing that there were life rafts on that boat!
And I am ready for the next adventure.
Who knows what’s next? I don’t. Be it a Good Thing or a Takeaway, I am learning that what works best is for me to be open. To understand that I don’t have a bird’s-eye view of every little piece that has been set in motion. To be me and to be happy and to have a light heart. To stop complaining and to start paying better attention.
Finding Your Own Quiet Center
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“The true alchemists do not change lead into gold; they change the world into words.” – William H. Gass
“You can make anything by writing.” – C. S. Lewis
“I write because I don’t know what I think until I read what I say.” – Flannery O’Connor
“Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the water is turned on.” – Louis L’Amour
Today, have fun finding your own quiet center of life and writing your thoughts, if only written by tracing the words across the clouds in the sky.
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You’ve got this!
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When some positivity is just what you need, flip your optimism to ON.
- When things don’t feel like they are going quite right and discouragement is hovering and waiting to swoop into your heart, it’s time to flip your optimism to ON.
- Replace those voices (the voices that tell you that there isn’t any hope or that you have already tried and tried but to no avail) with inner shouts of joy that say, You’ve got this!
- Let your little light shine and eradicate those dark thoughts that try to convince you that success is for those other people who, of course, were bound to be successful anyway, right? (Wrong!)
- Your light? Let it shine and shine some more.
- Believe. Trust. Know. You’ve got this. You truly do.
When you think you can’t.
You’ve got this. I used to go to the gym each night after work, the kind of gym that offered those maniac spinning classes. I used to look in to the classroom and watch those spinning pedals and sweating bodies and think, “That looks way above and beyond my physical abilities.” I wanted my body and my mind to perform like the spinners in that class, but it looked so exclusive — like it was for people who were in far better shape than I was, both physically and mentally — and kind of technical really, what with having to adjust your bike just so.
Well, I met the instructor, Scott, one day when he was coming out of one of the classes. Scott asked me if I would ever be interested in trying a class. He told me that spinning is for everyone, and that he thought that I would love it.
I decided to just try.
I decided to try it. I went to that first class and Scott was there, ready to help me adjust my bicycle so my ride would be comfortable, write down the adjustments so I could do it on my own for my next class, and make sure that I had a full water bottle.
It didn’t take long into that first class and I was hooked. Scott wasn’t one of those class instructors who shouted and berated exercisers to push beyond their perceived abilities. His mantra throughout class was always positive: “You’ve got this!” Scott understood that optimism and encouragement were what helped people to grow and to be excited about new challenges. The class was not only fun but spiritual, too. The hard workout put my head into a new place that out-rode (pun intended) the thoughts from the day that were still chasing me.
While we pedaled like crazy, added resistance, stood up, sat down, and stretched to cool down, Scott told everyone how great they were doing. He adjusted all of his instruction accordingly: for those who were struggling with a particular ride, he offered alternatives so that everyone’s workout would be rewarding . . . and he ramped things up for those who had been coming to the class for a while and wanted even more challenge.
Success is a good fit for everyone.
It was one of those very rare classes that fitted everyone. We all added some visible muscle during those classes, and we all grew a good measure of inner strength as well. We learned that we could do our best and feel good about it — no matter what we each had accomplished in class.
I don’t know if I fell in love with spinning or if I simply so appreciated Scott’s much-needed encouragement. Maybe both. In the ways of time and change, Scott moved to Portland, and I moved to an island. I live where there are zero spinning classes and the mountain behind my house serves as my combination elliptical trainer, spin bicycle, and treadmill.
The elevation gain up the mountain is a gentle master and is much less challenging than the spin classes. When I am out walking, I think about the other challenges in my life that have nothing to do with breaking a sweat or making another loop before heading home.
Encouragement is key.
We all need someone or something in our lives that motivates us to reach for that light switch — that extension of ourselves that pushes us to exceed our own expectations. I used to hear from Scott from time to time, but it’s been a while. When I do hear from him, he always has encouraging words to say. Scott is one of those people who helps others keep their optimism flipped to On. Thanks, Scott. I’ve got this!
How about you?
- What have you been wanting to try? To explore? To do just for the fun of it?
- Think about what it is and imagine yourself doing it, sensing it, being it.
- Take the first step — it can be a Baby Step or a Giant Step — but take the first step.
- What have you got to lose? [Nothing, right?]
- What do you have to gain? [Exactly! Everything!]
- Find a Scott in your life to help you stay focused. Ask for encouragement and for accountability.
- Remind yourself: You’ve got this! Tape this message up throughout your home, in your vehicle, at work.
- Be a Scott to someone else. When you give encouragement to others, it makes such a huge difference and, like any kindness, will be returned to you many times over.
- Keep the cycle going. Thank the Scotts in your life. It will make their day and it will encourage them to give even more to others.
Author bio: Kennedy Farr’s passion for writing first caught light at the age of four when she learned how to write her dog’s name P-e-p-p-y on a sheet of lined tablet paper. Kennedy is a daily writer and blogger, a lifelong learner, and a true believer that something wonderful is happening right now in this very moment. Kennedy lives view-high on the mountainside of an emerald-green island in the Pacific Northwest.
The Things I Thought I Wanted: a diary with a lock and key . . . and the thing about secrets
Oh, how I wanted a diary when I was a girl. You know the kind . . . a beautiful girly girl’s diary with a lock and key. And I was simply ecstatic the Christmas when I was ten years old and I received one. Mine had a navy blue cover with gold embossing and “1 Year Diary” gold-stamped into the cover. I simply loved it! I can still remember the sound that the gilt-edged pages made when I opened it for the first time . . . It felt like that crinkly sound was opening its pristine, glued-together pages to the secrets I was about to share with it.
Well, that’s the thing about secrets. No matter how much we try to preserve them or hide them from the prying eyes and inquiring minds that intersect our life, they are [sometimes] doomed to be discovered . . . paraded . . . maybe even disrespected. We feel violated when our secrets have been made public without our permission.
It takes a lot of risk and guts to commit a secret to the page . . . a lesson that I was quick to learn at this young age. My hopes of finding my true self via those gilt-edged pages were temporarily dashed when my big sister read my diary entries aloud — pages that detailed my first big crush [Dean W.], in front of said crush, who was my big brother’s best buddy.
I learned a lot that day about secrets and sisters and writing and locks and keys. I learned that just because something has a lock on it, doesn’t mean that it can’t be jimmied open. I learned that secrets can be made un-secret when they fall into the wrong hands. That, although it can be risky, it’s okay to be honest with my thoughts. That what someone else chooses to do doesn’t define who I am. That although I might feel a wee bit discouraged, I am going to keep writing.
It took some time to view things from my sister’s perspective. I learned that people do things that they don’t really intend to be hurtful in long-lasting ways. That what might seem funny at the time, never really was in the first place. And that sisters somehow stick together, even when they do things that aren’t very nice.
I am happy to have survived the awkwardness, and — now all the stronger — I have maintained my love and discipline of writing. And in the ways of true forgiveness, I have since pardoned my diary-reading, secret-disclosing sister. We are still the best of friends.
But you know how writing is. It liberates us, even when life sort of sucks. Writing asks us to pay attention to the details, even when it hurts. Little does this sister know that she is the muse for an extremely unattractive, glowering villainess who gets her payback comeuppance in one of my current short stories.
But this is the way of writing. You can change what is now by writing it into a different room or even onto a different planet. Does reality change? I don’t know how to answer this. I only know how to live it. And write it. And tell my sister that I love her dearly, because I do. And keep my journal hidden when she comes to visit.
Your choice. Choose you.
theunseenwordsproject.com
Greetings, lovelies. Today is a great day to Choose You.
- Grab that key.
- If you can’t find the key, teach yourself how to pick a lock.
- Open the lock and swing the doors wide open. You might be surprised to discover that you have actually, all this time, been the one who has been locked inside — not the other way around, with all this time thinking that your dreams are the ones that have been locked up and inaccessible.
- Step outside into the world of possibility and let your hair flow in the fresh breeze.
- Open your arms and embrace the many opportunities that are all around you.
- There are so many that are designed especially for you. For you. Believe.
- Step forth and choose. You only have to choose one to make a difference in today. Like choosing a puppy from a darling litter of adorable choices, pick the one that picks you.
- Nurture your choice. Let it know that it is loved. Feed it, water it, walk it, clean up after it.
- Groom your choice. Brush it, bathe it, pick the sticks and burrs that get stuck when it is out running around and exploring.
- An opportunity is a choice. You are worth the time and care that making the choice to choose you requires to nurture it. Love who you are. Believe in yourself. Choose well.
The Unseen Words Project 