PROMPT: What is the natural order in your life?
What is it that you do first before you think?
What is that one thing that spontaneously drives you beyond having to stop, think, clarify, justify? Prioritize, verbalize, intellectualize, organize, strategize . . . ?
What is that one thing that just pops into your mind?
Do you do this thing every day? Once a week? A month? A year? On Halloween? On New Year’s Eve? On your birthday? Ever? Never? And if not ever, what is stopping you from doing it right now?
What is my natural order? What is it that I do first before I even have to think about it? It is exactly as Samuel Beckett has written: DANCE. I love to dance. I love to dance because when I do, time literally stops. Any sense of time vaporizes, and I am caught in a moment of no-overthinking, no-planning. I don’t think about my job, my current relationship, my to-do list, my chores, my student loans and other pressing bills. I don’t think about having to set the alarm for the morning or needing to feed my kefir grains. I don’t regret saying no to that someone who is always wanting me to over-commit to yes. I don’t blame myself for making that mistake earlier in the day. I give up the guilt that prevents me from experiencing my natural order.
I just dance. I am no longer thinking and processing. I am doing. I am living my natural order. When the music is really perfect for dancing, I have stayed out waaay too late on a work night. I have returned to ex-boyfriends because the perfect song caught us on the dance floor together. I once smoked a kretek after a night of dancing with a really Bad Boy. [I feel so transparent confessing this! If you knew me, you would know that this was a really out-there thing for me to do.]
Consequences of living your natural order? Of course. All of life has consequences. What I do creates the experiences that form who I am. But when I embrace my natural order, I am no longer a human doing; I have become a human being. I want to be in my life. I want to respond to my natural order.
What is the natural order of your life? What is it that you do before you think?