Life is a lively event. It moves with swiftness and makes no apologies. Save some room on your dance card today for an important person in your life.
You should be dancing, yeah! Put on your platform heels, turn the music up, and check out these awesome dance moves and gorgeous clothes. I love Soul Train! And who doesn’t love a little Bee Gees, Aretha, and the King of Pop to make Saturday just a little bit better. Make your own Soul Train dance lane at home and Continue reading
Here’s to Mondays and dancing and the Bee Gees. What a great way to spend your Monday morning . . . tapping your toes and Continue reading
I recently took one of those online quizzes that is designed to assess Who You Are and Where You Are At. These were my quiz results: “Your results indicate you must stop blaming yourself. It’s not your fault. Your thoughts and feelings are simply disconnected creating Stuck feelings.”
I like the gentle reminder that these encouraging words impart. And I wonder how many other people received exactly this same message. In other words, do these “results” hold true for everyone on the planet? Or am I the only one who is feeling the disconnect of thoughts and feelings?
This is much easier said than done. There is always going to be some second guessing going on in life that is going to lead you to blame yourself. So many things. A bad decision you made. A time when you zigged when you should have zagged. Words that slipped out of your mouth like thirsty little toads seeking a water source.
A detour that you should have taken instead of charging ahead into those warning signs of danger. A job that you declined. A house that you bought. A health decision you made. A lover you chose. A friend that you trusted. A horse that you bet on.
Self-blame. What is it exactly? Self-assigning responsibility for things that you have said or done doesn’t sound like such a bad thing. After all, I am responsible for my own stuff, right? But blame goes beyond this when you dwell on it, feel horrible about it, and then do nothing about it. It’s okay to give yourself permission to stop blaming yourself when you take thoughtful responsibility and attempt to rectify the wrong that you have committed with compassion and empathy. You can apologize. You can ask for an opportunity to re-frame your thoughts in different words. You can give someone a hug. You can back up and try it all over again. You can ask for a pardon. You can ask if you can try to make it right. You can write a letter. You can bake banana bread. You can be patient and allow the other person time to feel angry or hurt.
And the effects of prolonged self-blame? Prolonged self-blame quickly reduces to an ongoing state of regret. We become mired in our own selfish thoughts of how badly we feel. This, in turn, focuses the original action or words solely on us and robs us of the chance to make it right.
We might blame ourselves for something rash that we did or something foolish that we said . . . but to continue blaming ourselves over and over and over? This is where blame evolves into regret. And it doesn’t take much imagination to understand that regret is joyful living’s natural assassin. Regret robs us of any opportunity to be brave and to do the right thing. There are certainly things that we are responsible for that are tough to make right. But that doesn’t mean that we should stop trying. This is where we call upon our Brave to kick into action. It is a brave soul who can admit that he or she was in the wrong. This is not stuff for sissies.
But isn’t it? Isn’t it my fault? No one held a weapon to my head while I said those hurtful things or made that bad decision. There was no little cartoon devil on my shoulder urging me to max out my credit card buying heels and boots. If it’s not my fault, then whose is it?
Fault is one of those concepts that gets tossed about with little regard. It’s a hungry ghost that rides the backs of air molecules and never really lights. It gets tossed about, bandied about, and argued about. It gets assigned to others in nilly-willy ways and has no substance.
It’s true that if we accept the toss that’s aimed at us and we catch it, fault will linger for a while. And maybe it is our fault to begin with, right? But to carry it about will only lead to us, ultimately, sinking beneath the weight, most often forcing us to toss it to someone else to carry for a while.
If we are going to talk about the word fault, I prefer to think in geologic terms and plate tectonics. A fault, geologically speaking is a situation where the earth’s crust has been stretched and faulted to the point that rift valleys form. Imagine having two sections of your soul, Blame and Regret, moving relative to each other. This action causes us to become stretched and faulted to the point that rift valleys form in our spirits and souls, creating chasms and pockets that become too dangerous to explore. Dangerous because one never knows when there may be yet another seismic shift between the two relative forces.
Is there a better way to deal with the Plate Tectonics of our soul? Understand that Fault Lines exist. Be a scientist, measure, and plan for catastrophe accordingly. Keep away from the the edge of the plates when possible. Move inland to safer ground. Take a deep breath and hope for stability. Fault. It does no one any good. But it’s there, so be smart. And if shift happens? Channel that energy into something positive.
Well, now. This is something that feels like familiar ground. Nothing newsworthy here.
Yes. My thoughts and feelings become disconnected. This is not an uncommon occurrence. But now what? What’s next? By taking this little quiz, I have implicated myself into wanting to better myself . . . to make my life better. So what’s going to help me to re-connect my thoughts and my feelings? How do I go about planning the big reunion? I think part of the answer is in Un-creating Stuck Feelings.
Stuck is as stuck does. Like love, debt, and what shoes to wear today, Stuck-ness is a decision. Making a decision is a mental activity. Making a decision makes the Stuck feelings go away. There is some magic in this . . . magic that involves you feeling inspired to make the decision to be Un-Stuck.
Deep breaths. Think. Meditate. Dance. Call a friend. Be mindful. Breathe life’s goodness into my soul. And above all: Try something new. Albert Einstein is famously quoted for saying: Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. He also said, Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.
You can’t stay stuck if you aren’t standing still. Try something new. Say something kind to a stranger. Dance like a goof. Join a marimba band. Say you are sorry and make an action that shows it. Take the risk of making a mistake that, yes, might create even more self-blame and stuck feelings.
Like trying to get the stubborn lid off of a jar when you have wet hands, it ain’t going to happen until you take a moment to dry your hands. Tap the jar lid a few times with a knife. Run some hot water over the metal lid. Get out your handy-dandy Cap Snaffler. Do something. And you’ll get the lid off of the jar and, with any cosmic blessing, you’ll reconnect your thoughts and feelings into a better place and allow yourself to see a kinder reflection when you look around you.
This mashup is perfectly done. These dancers have got some pretty inspiring moves. So Happy Sunday! And get your feet moving! Dancing is good for your mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual health. If you can think of another dimension of health, it’s good for that, too. Promise! Dancing is a great cause of inner happiness that radiates from the inside out.
If you haven’t seen an OK Go video, then you are in for a treat. These videos are super clever! Take a few moments this morning to appreciate some fanciful videos, listen to some good dance music, and get up and start moving. The thing about OK Go, they don’t spare any creativity when it comes to representing their music. Have fun today! It’s Saturday!
Klutz LEGO Chain Reactions Craft Kit
Mistakes That Worked Paperback
It’s Saturday! And it’s time to dance, people!
Dance like you did as a young’un. Just go for it! Shake it, move it, groove it!
Life is lively event. Seize the movement.
It’s time for some Dance Tune Boxcar! Boxcar . . . you know the game. The game where you recite compound words and the next person has to think of a new word that starts with the tail end of your compound word: MoleHill. HillTop. TopGun. GunBarrel. Barrelhead . . . and on the frivolity goes until someone says something like HeadScratcher. Then you are cooked. How many compound words can you think of that start with Scratcher_____ ? Game over!
Some of you played it at summer camp or at those fun Nerd Parties where, rather than sneaking booze out of the parents’ liquor cupboard, you played word games like Telephone, Scrabble, Mad Libs, and Boxcar. [I think you can guess which category I fell into.]
Here is some Boxcar dance music for your lively Saturday morning. Have fun dancing today! If you can stop yourself from hopping up and cutting the rug . . . I don’t know . . . maybe you need to turn the volume up. 🙂
This Saturday’s Dance Boxcar: The Twist –> Twist & Shout –> Shout!
Chubby Checker could really shake it!
This song song was originally recorded by the Top Notes. Such a great song! I had to include two covers of this song . . . one for style and the other for audience appreciation!
I don’t know anyone who can keep still to “Shout!” . . . truly. Can’t you feel your feet tapping? I can’t count the dance floors where the entire crowd was doing nothing other than pogo-ing up and down because there was no space to do anything else.
The Isley Brothers had it going on! Check out their moves!
It’s Saturday. If you have the day off, dance. If you are on your way to work, dance.
Dancing — guaranteed — will make a fun and positive difference in your day!