True Story: The Ex Files

The Extraordinary Night of the Ex-es



Fact truly is stranger than any fiction that I could ever imagine.


Last night, I

  • danced with my ex‘s ex‘s ex (weird)
  • met a man with 18 ex-es (and heard the whole story as to why he married and divorced 18 times: interesting, actually)
  • listened to a loony ex-Texan (not interesting)
  • lied to the ex-Texan and told him that my ex was my current boyfriend (bizarrely satisfying)
  • received a text from my real ex (more weirdness)
  • met a man who couldn’t quit talking about his two ex-es (again, not very interesting)
  • met up with someone who felt compelled to report the status of another ex (in detail)
  • ran into my ex-boss (who was with someone who is not his wife)
  • also ran into an ex-coworker who is now an ex-nympho (kind of amazing)
  • met my ex-boyfriend’s ex (I felt interrogated.)
  • at night’s end, used my ex‘s rewards card to buy post-dancing provisions (salt, sugar, and chocolate)

I came home and felt exhausted by so much exexcitement.

Does any of this ever happen to you?  Am I the only one?  Do you have a peculiar “ex” vignette to share?


3 thoughts on “True Story: The Ex Files

  1. All my ex-es live in Texas …

    Although a song title, it is true in my case, so I relate to using “boring” as an adjective in describing the ex-Texan’s story. 🙂 

    Along with a couple of husbands and several boyfriends who are nice guys, but not a great fit, these are some other ex-es I can live without:

    Exacerbation. Good grief! If it’s already stinky, I don’t want to make it worse! Not for myself and certainly not for others. I find the “good-feeling” part and focus there, or I attempt to find the pearl of wisdom in the situation before moving on.. Mantra: Today, I bring peace and serenity to everyone and everything I encounter. All I encounter teaches me.

    Exasperation. There are people who purposely attempt to incense, annoy or irritate another for fun or sport. We’ve all known them. And some situations seem beyond my ability to cope, let alone enjoy. I limit my time with it/them. If I must interact, I choose my thoughts and words carefully with my well-being in mind. I try to avoid reacting in a like-minded fashion. As my mother would say, I attempt to “take the high road.” Some situations and people just rub me the wrong way, but I am not powerless. I can make choices on how to view/think/feel. And I am mindful that I may agitate others beyond their ability to remain in control. If/when I become aware this is the case, I can take a deep breath, reach into my imaginary pocket and cast a handful of imaginary hearts around that person or situation, surrounding it in pure love. Mantra: I bring peace, love, joy and light to all I encounter.

    Excuses. Who needs ‘em? Just tell it like it is without apology. If my “what is” isn’t great, I try inventing a better-feeling story and tell it instead. Mantra: I will not regurgitate my negative “what is.” I will reach for a better-feeling thought and tell a new and improved story.

    Exclusions. Shouldn’t this be the Universe of Inclusion? Inclusion of people of all shapes and sizes, ethnicities and sexual preferences. I can never elevate myself by finding fault with others. Mantra: Today I will be so busy improving myself I won’t have time to find fault with others.

    Expectations. Unless I expect the best: The best lunch, the best experience, the best laugh, the best relationship, the BEST OUTCOME. Expectation of less than the best is fear-based. Having expectations of others is inviting disappointment. I give the gift and forget about reciprocity. I offer time, talent, affection, without strings. Mantra: I do what I do without thoughts of reward. I do what I do because it feels good. Things are always working out for me.

    Expletives. OK … I’m guilty. This is one of my very bad habits. I’m mindful there are many wonderful words to use instead of an expletive, but there are also times no other words can communicate as clearly as one of these. I attempt to reserve expletives for the right occasions and admit I am often offended by hearing them used so very casually and frequently around older people and children. Mantra: I will pause before I speak or take action and my responses will be inspired by All-There-Is.

    And the list goes on …


    • Love this! I really enjoy your writing and what you have shared with us! I like the idea of imaginary hearts and best outcomes. 🙂 It is always a good thing to focus on the positive, as you have written. And as for cussing, you are right . . . there are times when another word cannot replace the satisfaction of a sound expletive! As you say, choices abound. And our focus will guide us in our choices. Thanks for sharing such a positive and uplifting message. 🙂


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