Set your default to trusting yourself.

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trust: firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

doubt: a feeling of uncertainty or lack of conviction

When you compare the definitions of these two words, it is easy to see why it is much more happifying to set your personal default to trust.

Doubt is one of those feelings that leaves us second guessing ourselves into an unsettled state that only leaves us feeling even more doubtful.

Like cells that have their own growth cycle, doubt undergoes different phases or stages. As cells multiply, there are checkpoints at the end of each stage of growth to make sure that the last stage is fully completed before moving to the next stage.

When we find ourselves at the end of a growth cycle or at one of life’s crossroads, let your checkpoints be governed by trust, not doubt.  

Questions of doubt:

Should I accept the new job offer?  

Should I move across the country to a town where no one knows me?  

Should I adopt a new pet?  

Should I go back to school?  

Should I break up with my boyfriend?  

Should I . . . ?  Notice how all of these doubts are foreshadowed by should.  

Re-frame with statements of trust

What if we were to re-frame these same questions with statements of trust? Notice what happens when you replace should with am and will:  

I am ready to start a new career.  

I am brave enough to go on a moving adventure.  

My life will be so enriched by adopting a new pet.  

By returning to school, I will learn so many amazing things.  

I am ready to honor my own preferences and become independent.  

Give doubt a shovel and it will bury your hopes and scatter your strength.  It is far more harmful and damaging than we give it credit for.  As we spend time doubting, we spin our wheels and allow opportunities to breeze by . . . even when they are exactly what we have been hoping to meet.  We think that by doing nothing, we are honoring our preferences . . . but are we?  Are we truly?

A Positive Challenge:

The next time you hear yourself doubting yourself or prefacing a sentence with I should or I shouldn’t, maybe you are merely at the end of a growth cycle and you find yourself at one of life’s checkpoints.  Please, be kind to yourself for feeling a little uneasy about launching yourself into the next growth stage.  It’s natural to wonder about the possibilities at these checkpoints.  Take a deep breath, eradicate any and all doubt, and replace it with a Trust Statement.  Say it out loud.  And repeat it as needed.  Imagine what life would look like and feel like if you trusted yourself more than you doubted yourself.

As my mentor Scott would say: You’ve got this!

 

Capture some happiness and share it with your best friend.

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Is there anything cuter than this puppy?  I think that this little guy is absolutely adorable.

How can something so cute not put a smile in your heart today?  

We are so fortunate to have such giving and loving animals in our lives.  Our hearts are expanded by the love that we share with such faithful, loyal, and beautiful creatures. Today, take a moment to let your special buddy know that you appreciate the smile that they put in your heart.

Capture some happiness and share it with your best friend.

Spiralized Motion, Elevation, & Beauty = Baby Steps

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Baby Steps  

Baby Steps are immeasurable according to the Theory of Irrelativity.  Their measure includes added volume and weight that an ordinary distance cannot carry.  Sometimes the very smallest of steps in the right direction are enough to cancel out those giant steps that you feel were taken in less-desirable directions.  And these redeeming baby steps can end up being the biggest steps of your life.  Why?  Because you are honoring you, your preferences, and your well being.  There is nothing that says I love you, little ol’ Self like taking a baby step in the right direction.

My affirmation last month was one that surprised me.  It wasn’t prompted by any particular incident, writing, or reading.  It was like my Higher Self spoke to me in the plainest of terms in a louder-than-usual voice:

“I am brave enough to love myself.”  

This affirmation left a water mark, as I don’t believe that I have ever linked bravery to self-love.  In hindsight, I am guessing that I have always associated self-love with acts, rewards, success, attitude, generosity, earned deserved-ness . . . but not bravery.

As the month passed and I repeated my affirmation, I began to see how being brave could make a big difference in how I honor my preferences, my priorities, and my choices.

By being brave, I put myself forward into an Unknown that I intuitively trust.  And I take baby steps.  

And these baby steps do not feel like they are taking me in any linear path that can be measured in mileage, hours, or dollar signs.  They are taking me in an upward spiral that condenses the journey into a tightly-coiled experience that I can now see resembles what we call life.

I used to think of my stand-out memories in terms of fence posts.  I go through life with my tool belt and my wire . . . stringing wire until I reach the next fence post that snags my memory’s attention.  I pause while I attach the wire and then start walking toward some mysterious and unknown fence post that will make itself known in some splashy manner.

seashell-754015_960_720Now?  I am no longer thinking in such linear terms.  The spiral that this shell represents in this image is taking me on a different kind of journey that, rather than leading me away from anything, is leading me upward and closer on a tighter and tighter spiral.

“We have already climbed many steps . . .” Herman Hesse is right: It does indeed feel like I have already climbed many steps . . . but when I take a step off the spiral and take a good look and pause to reflect . . . it does look like there has definitely been some elevation gain — which explains so many things.  No wonder I get tired, out of breath, discouraged, and fatigued sometimes.  I am only human and this is the only life that I have.  Rather than thinking of life being on some kind of vertical timeline, I am shifting my symbol-delegating thoughts to something that has motion, elevation, and beauty: a spiraling shell.  “We are not going in circles, we are going upwards.”

My new affirmation for this month?

I am brave enough to spiral upward.