A Lesson from the Subconscious: the Evolution of Good

Big-life-change-quoteIs there something you are doing that is causing you pain?  Or stress?  Or grief?  Or anger?  Or non-optimal health?  If the answer is yes, stop doing it.  Change your position.  Shift into feeling good.  Change now.  Life really is short.  There is no time for regret.

IMG_0975It is like when you wake up in the middle of the night and you realize that the way your arm is positioned is causing you neck pain.  Your subconscious is so strong, you have been allowing yourself to sleep through it.

You begin to wake up and Continue reading

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Riding Shotgun

What is one dream scenario that you have lost sight of?

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Yesterday I was crossing the street, waiting for a break in traffic.  A small, beat-up truck passed me — the very kind of truck I used to drive — and I saw a man driving with his dog riding shotgun.  Remembering my one most-amazing-and-wondrous dog who rode shotgun with me in my old truck, I felt a pang of sweet memory pass through my very core.

This particular dog went everywhere with me, so it was a common sight to see the two of us toodling around the county with the windows rolled down while singing along to some tune on a cassette tape.  The dog actually had a better singing voice than I did, but she was no critic.  Happy were we who got to go everywhere together.

When I saw this man and his happy pup in that truck, a dart of awareness passed through me.  It was one of those movie-montage moments where I could view time on film.  I could see me and my furry friend driving here and there in the succession of broken-down trucks that I had the misfortune of owning.

Yesterday as I watched the truck go jouncing down the road, I realized that one of my essential criteria for living a happy life had somehow slipped through the cracks of my ever-shifting paradigms.  At one time in my life, I would not even consider a job opportunity unless my dog could accompany me throughout the work day.  I turned down jobs in Alaska, California, Canada . . ..  If I couldn’t bring my faithful sidekick, I knew that the job wasn’t the right one for me.  As chosen priorities lead to reality, I ended up opting to live in a wall tent on 572,000 acres in a wilderness area.  It was a great situation where my boss did not care in the least if my dog tagged along.

The situation had all the potentiality of being lonely, but I never thought of it that way.  I was living in the midst of all of this incredible grandeur and my dog was right there by my side.  She was my true-blue, thick-and-thin companion in the middle of all that vast quiet.  She would run ahead of me on the trail and defy any bear, cougar, coyote, or free-range horse to come anywhere near us.  My time within all of that beauty there was such a rare opportunity, I appreciated every single day that passed.

All of this was bound to change.  And it did. During my years there, this ace #1 dog-of-a-lifetime passed on to Dog Heaven and other canine companions joined me.  Ultimately, a new job opportunity came up and I couldn’t pass it up.  The only problem?  I couldn’t bring my new dog to work with me.  The schedule was pretty good and the two of us were still able to get out and roam the trails on our 3-day weekends . . . but there was a shift.  And it was bigger than me not being able to bring my dog to work.  It was me compromising on what was important to me.

Looking back, I can see that “Bringing My Dog to Work” served as a bullet point on my Higher Self’s mission statement.

The years have passed.  That job led to another dog-restricted job.  Then I returned to school, and we all know how major universities feel about dogs sitting outside classrooms waiting for their human.  Not a good idea.  The mornings were full of classroom time and the afternoons were taken up by various half-ass jobs that supported me through school.

Outdoor-dog time grew to be more limited for me and free-range hikes turned into long evening strolls through the neighborhood.  Life had changed, as had I.  It didn’t occur to me at the time that I was focused on Ahead instead of looking at Right Now.

quote. Val. IMG_0103

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All of these compromises.  With me feeling so buried by my decisions concerning education and future employment, the changes were all taking on priority status without me realizing that I was granting permission, one way or another, to something that was counter-intuitive to my internal mission statement.  I don’t rightly know how it all happened.  I don’t know when a yes became a no and a no became a yes.  Life changed when I consciously reversed the two and said it was all for a Better Future.

That’s the problem with giving in and giving up . . . you don’t realize that it has all happened until it feels like it’s too late to do anything about it anymore.  But that’s just it . . . it’s not too late.  Not at all.  All sorts of good decisions are before me.  All I have to do is choose.

Life is a lively event.  So many baby steps lead to where we are today.  Today, I want to honor my preferences.  Back up a little bit and review my Mission Statement.  Do a little editing maybe and re-commit to what is still important.  Invite my dream to ride shotgun with me again, roll down the windows, and belt out a tune.

How about you?

  • What’s riding shotgun on your Mission Statement? On your personal manifesto?
  • What’s one dream scenario that you have lost sight of?
  • Is it still alive inside you?
  • Are you ready to take some baby steps to renew it in your life?

We sometimes feel so bogged down by the progression of changes that have taken place in life that it can feel like it is impossible to reinstate one of our long-ago dreams.

Today might be the day that you sit down and ask what is important to you.

  • Commit it all to paper.
  • Keep the items approachable by using simple language. Dreams, written in your own language, will mean more to you than if they are crafted using lofty words and expressions.
  • Put your manifesto where you can see it easily and daily. Maybe it is your bathroom mirror or it is the wall by your desk or on a kitchen cupboard.  The important thing is that you make it visible.
  • Read your manifesto aloud. It might feel weird the first few times you do this, but it is as important that you hear the words as it is seeing the words.
  • When making decisions, think about what is important to you. Let your Higher Self guide you.
  • Dreams are meant to be followed.  Follow them.  They know the way.

 

 

 

 

Author bio: Kennedy Farr’s passion for writing caught light at the age of four when she first learned how to spell her name at a yellow kitchen table on a sheet of lined tablet paper.  Kennedy is a daily writer and blogger, a lifelong learner, and a true believer that something wonderful is happening right now in this very moment.  Kennedy lives high on the mountainside of an emerald-green island in the Pacific Northwest.

Website: https://theunseenwordsproject.com/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/theunseenwords

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/The-Unseen-Words-Project-1095815913825818/ 

 

My Rights of Insanity, False Starts, & Finding Straight Grain

1072Albert Einstein has shared some powerful words with us: “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” and “No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.”

Elegant, round, large, profound words.

And pretty simple, right?

I was listening to a friend today talking about a couple she knew who are in a polar relationship with some conflicting dynamics.  As an outsider, my perception of Major Problems was glaring and blaring.  The relationship sounded as if it had the words Selfishness and Dislike and Disrespect stamped all over it.  And before I go further, I want to say that I am not proud of my initial reaction to the story.  This couple in no way deserved my hasty judgment.

1082The husband stayed at home with the baby.  The wife didn’t like it when the husband wanted to get out for a few hours in the evening for some alone time.  After all, as he said, “I can only clean the house so many times during the day.”  The wife, being the breadwinner, quashed his request to take the car and go have fun.  Well, the wife didn’t want to be left all alone with the baby.  So?  The husband stayed home, deferring to his wife and ignoring his wish to be around adults with whom he could talk and share . . . all which emphasized the core problem that his wife was someone who he didn’t qualify as being an “adult with whom he could talk and share.”

You get the idea.  It was easy for me to sympathize with the husband.  I don’t know why I found myself rooting for the him, as I am guessing that the wife has her own personal emotional challenges regarding the relationship.  I was surprised when I felt myself getting emotionally involved in the story and siding with the husband.  I started saying things like, “Wow!  Let the man go out and have a little fun.” And . . . “She sounds like a control nut.”  And then . . . “Why do they even stay together if they are so unhappy?”

I caught myself mid-comment.  All of this, coming from someone who was a Master Enabler and Chronic Co-Dependency Queen in relationships past.   As I heard the words coming out of my mouth, I thought back over the years when I stayed in relationships that were no longer in our respective best interests.  Relationships where we no longer cared about growing or contributing or loving one another.  Relationships that focused on Take and no Give.

It is always easy to look at others’ relationships and “know what I would do.”  It is also easy to look back at my own personal hard times and now know what I would have, should have, could have done differently.

Hindsight is a lovely thing.  It is the frosting that covers the burnt cake called Delayed Action.  In my situation, the obvious thing to do in these relationships was to cut the cord and repair to a different bubble, a different space.  A paradigm shift was certainly in order.  By staying in “the same level of consciousness” that created the problems, I was exercising my Rights of Insanity . . . by “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

As you can easily imagine, consequences were paid and lessons were learned.    Changes were made and “different results” were wrested from me.  Not always a happy ending at that time but a different ending, nonetheless.

I have certainly chosen Insanity, by Einstein’s definition, and stayed far beyond the expiration date that was stamped on the underside of a few relationships.  There are times when I don’t like to admit this . . . times when, now having moved on and past, I don’t really care about the outcomes that took place . . . times when I feel as if these relationships have helped me to build healthier, positive relationships in the present.  There are times when regrets have dogged me and times when regrets have vanished into the stratosphere without a hint of a vapor trail.  Times when my past feels as if it has been a surreal dream and times when I simply don’t think about it at all.

14621623115_0028bf42b1_bI laughed at myself when I told my friend, “Aren’t I a fine one to be saying what this couple should do?”  The truth: I don’t know what they should do.  I have barely been cognizant of what it is I should-would-could-can-will do.  Einstein’s words inspire me to reach for a different level of consciousness, even if it might mean digging myself into a deeper hole or painting myself into a corner  or climbing up to the roof and pushing the ladder to the ground.

It takes courage to stretch for a different level of consciousness.  Shakespeare wrote in Lady Macbeth, “”But screw your courage to the sticking place, And we’ll not fail.”  Lady Macbeth is saying to stretch, push, and pull your courage as far and deep as it will go — just as one does when screwing a screw into a wall or a beam.  You keep screwing until the screw simply won’t accept one more twist of the screwdriver.  Sometimes you have to go that deep.  And to know when to stop.

IMG_0878Anyone who has tried to screw a screw into a wall stud knows the difference between trying to do so into a piece of welcoming straight-grained wood and into a gnarly knot.  You start to twist the screw in and then . . . nothing.  Stopped at mid-screw.  You know you have hit a knot.  Depending on how badly I want the screw to be in that exact spot for various functional or artistic reasons, I persevere.  I really reef on that screwdriver.  I break a sweat or I invite a blister.

Other times, I back the screw out and try a different spot with the hope that I will find straight grain.  Eventually, success is mine and the screw is in the wall — and not necessarily where I originally wanted it.  All that remains is to fill the holes that litter the sheetrock and dab some paint over the dried spackle.

One time I tried to install a toilet paper roll in my powder room.  Something this elementary.  By the time I completed the job, the wall was simply riddled with false starts.  It remains a testimony to not reading the directions that came with the device.  The T.P. holder is crooked and rickety.  I think I am the only one in the house who can change a roll of toilet paper and not have the dang holder fall off the wall.  It is also a testimony to remember Lady Macbeth’s words and to rise to courage.

But it is Onward, I say.  The next time I hear someone telling me a story about another couple’s relationship, I am going to stop my ears and remember Albert Einstein, Lady Macbeth, and the hideous mess I made of my powder room wall.  All is well but all will be even better if I prevent myself from making hasty judgments by resisting my Rights of Insanity.  Thank you to Albert, Lady Macbeth, and Home Depot.  Life is good when I heed the words of the wise: do something different, don’t resist change, don’t listen to my judgmental self, be courageous, and abide by a different level of consciousness.