It’s Monday. Time for some magic!
life
In between there are doors.
Focus on the little things.
Spiralized Motion, Elevation, & Beauty = Baby Steps
Baby Steps
Baby Steps are immeasurable according to the Theory of Irrelativity. Their measure includes added volume and weight that an ordinary distance cannot carry. Sometimes the very smallest of steps in the right direction are enough to cancel out those giant steps that you feel were taken in less-desirable directions. And these redeeming baby steps can end up being the biggest steps of your life. Why? Because you are honoring you, your preferences, and your well being. There is nothing that says I love you, little ol’ Self like taking a baby step in the right direction.
My affirmation last month was one that surprised me. It wasn’t prompted by any particular incident, writing, or reading. It was like my Higher Self spoke to me in the plainest of terms in a louder-than-usual voice:
“I am brave enough to love myself.”
This affirmation left a water mark, as I don’t believe that I have ever linked bravery to self-love. In hindsight, I am guessing that I have always associated self-love with acts, rewards, success, attitude, generosity, earned deserved-ness . . . but not bravery.
As the month passed and I repeated my affirmation, I began to see how being brave could make a big difference in how I honor my preferences, my priorities, and my choices.
By being brave, I put myself forward into an Unknown that I intuitively trust. And I take baby steps.
And these baby steps do not feel like they are taking me in any linear path that can be measured in mileage, hours, or dollar signs. They are taking me in an upward spiral that condenses the journey into a tightly-coiled experience that I can now see resembles what we call life.
I used to think of my stand-out memories in terms of fence posts. I go through life with my tool belt and my wire . . . stringing wire until I reach the next fence post that snags my memory’s attention. I pause while I attach the wire and then start walking toward some mysterious and unknown fence post that will make itself known in some splashy manner.
Now? I am no longer thinking in such linear terms. The spiral that this shell represents in this image is taking me on a different kind of journey that, rather than leading me away from anything, is leading me upward and closer on a tighter and tighter spiral.
“We have already climbed many steps . . .” Herman Hesse is right: It does indeed feel like I have already climbed many steps . . . but when I take a step off the spiral and take a good look and pause to reflect . . . it does look like there has definitely been some elevation gain — which explains so many things. No wonder I get tired, out of breath, discouraged, and fatigued sometimes. I am only human and this is the only life that I have. Rather than thinking of life being on some kind of vertical timeline, I am shifting my symbol-delegating thoughts to something that has motion, elevation, and beauty: a spiraling shell. “We are not going in circles, we are going upwards.”
My new affirmation for this month?
I am brave enough to spiral upward.
It’s Bookmark Friday. Mark your place with love.
Happy Friday, lovelies!
Salad Spinner Mindfulness
I caught myself fretting this morning. Fretting about nothing, really. In an attempt to distract myself and put all of this fretting aside, I now sit here in one of my favorite coffee shops and, the same as most days, put words on paper. Rarely do I sit here and do nothing. Mainly I think. Ideas and memories and perceptions are tossed around in some Binary Amphitheatre of the Surreal and the Real, whirling them around and shooting them out onto the page in salad-spinner style.
I find myself in this divergent universe . . . Continue reading
You Should Be Dancing. It’s Bust-a-Move Monday!
Here’s to Mondays and dancing and the Bee Gees. What a great way to spend your Monday morning . . . tapping your toes and Continue reading
10 Ideas a Day
This is a good-to-watch TED talk from James Altucher.
His main points are really good to note:
If you don’t make the choices in your life, then someone else is going to end up making them for you. Someone else is going to end up making the choices for you, and they aren’t going to be as good as the choices that you make for yourself.
Failure is unpleasant. View it as an experiment.
4 distinct things that were working for him when he was on the way up:
1. Take care of your physical health: Sleep well, eat well, exercise well, laugh more. Make improvements incrementally that will improve your physical health.
2. Take care of your emotional health: Be around people that you love and trust and be around people that love and trust you.
3. Spiritual/creative gratitude: Complaining is draining. Express gratitude. Look on the sunny side.
4. Use your idea muscles. Use a waiter’s pad. Write down 10 ideas every day. Become an idea machine.
5. Share your ideas. Come up with 10 ideas for someone . . . for “x.” Give your ideas away with no expectation of them sharing back with you. Life changes by spreading your ideas like currency.
Interesting ideas. I especially like the idea of writing down 10 ideas every day and then giving them away. Altucher promises that life will change if we are generous with our ideas. Sounds good to me. For someone who keeps notebooks in every bag, purse, and pocket, I especially like #4. Now . . . the trick will be how to give them away.
I am not sure how this will materialize into action — this idea of giving away ideas — but I like the idea of thinking of ideas as currency. If ideas are currency, then many people I know and love are rich and wealthy. Idea Rich. I like it.
Woot! This makes me wealthy beyond wonder. Do I have ideas? Yes. I have been told that I have too many ideas and not enough follow through. Hmmmmm . . . maybe this is someone speaking who is simply envious of my wealth. Someone who wishes that s/he, too, could come up with a real purpose for dark matter or who could contrive an extraordinary purpose for eggshells or who could invent a gizmo for churning garbage disposal waste directly into the garden as compost.
Ideas. They are the things that grow and that grow us. We conceive them and then are oftentimes daunted by them. Who wants them? What do we do with them? How do we implement them? How do we move them out of notebooks and into the hands of people who will develop them into reality?
After all, I read once that there are Innovators and Implementers. And rarely shall the twain meet. I am an Innovator. It only follows that it is time to find an Implementer. Caution All Implementers: Ideas Ahead.
I don’t know. This is all tricky stuff for an Innovator. We are idea-based, not roll-up-your-sleeves-based. But it is time to start giving Ideas away. Perhaps not entirely unsolicited. I don’t want to wax eloquent to the stranger next to me on the ferry about my brain storm for the next Super Bowl ad . . . I can see them switching seats now. But I actually have one. It involves breakfast cereal and babies and all sorts of action moves. There. I just gave away one of my more brilliant ideas. Sweet! Only 9 more to share before the day is over.
There’s no time like Right Now.
theunseenwordsproject.com
The Plate Tectonics of Blame & Regret
I recently took one of those online quizzes that is designed to assess Who You Are and Where You Are At. These were my quiz results: “Your results indicate you must stop blaming yourself. It’s not your fault. Your thoughts and feelings are simply disconnected creating Stuck feelings.”
I like the gentle reminder that these encouraging words impart. And I wonder how many other people received exactly this same message. In other words, do these “results” hold true for everyone on the planet? Or am I the only one who is feeling the disconnect of thoughts and feelings?
You must stop blaming yourself.
This is much easier said than done. There is always going to be some second guessing going on in life that is going to lead you to blame yourself. So many things. A bad decision you made. A time when you zigged when you should have zagged. Words that slipped out of your mouth like thirsty little toads seeking a water source.
A detour that you should have taken instead of charging ahead into those warning signs of danger. A job that you declined. A house that you bought. A health decision you made. A lover you chose. A friend that you trusted. A horse that you bet on.
Self-blame. What is it exactly? Self-assigning responsibility for things that you have said or done doesn’t sound like such a bad thing. After all, I am responsible for my own stuff, right? But blame goes beyond this when you dwell on it, feel horrible about it, and then do nothing about it. It’s okay to give yourself permission to stop blaming yourself when you take thoughtful responsibility and attempt to rectify the wrong that you have committed with compassion and empathy. You can apologize. You can ask for an opportunity to re-frame your thoughts in different words. You can give someone a hug. You can back up and try it all over again. You can ask for a pardon. You can ask if you can try to make it right. You can write a letter. You can bake banana bread. You can be patient and allow the other person time to feel angry or hurt.
And the effects of prolonged self-blame? Prolonged self-blame quickly reduces to an ongoing state of regret. We become mired in our own selfish thoughts of how badly we feel. This, in turn, focuses the original action or words solely on us and robs us of the chance to make it right.
We might blame ourselves for something rash that we did or something foolish that we said . . . but to continue blaming ourselves over and over and over? This is where blame evolves into regret. And it doesn’t take much imagination to understand that regret is joyful living’s natural assassin. Regret robs us of any opportunity to be brave and to do the right thing. There are certainly things that we are responsible for that are tough to make right. But that doesn’t mean that we should stop trying. This is where we call upon our Brave to kick into action. It is a brave soul who can admit that he or she was in the wrong. This is not stuff for sissies.
It’s not your fault.
But isn’t it? Isn’t it my fault? No one held a weapon to my head while I said those hurtful things or made that bad decision. There was no little cartoon devil on my shoulder urging me to max out my credit card buying heels and boots. If it’s not my fault, then whose is it?
Fault is one of those concepts that gets tossed about with little regard. It’s a hungry ghost that rides the backs of air molecules and never really lights. It gets tossed about, bandied about, and argued about. It gets assigned to others in nilly-willy ways and has no substance.
It’s true that if we accept the toss that’s aimed at us and we catch it, fault will linger for a while. And maybe it is our fault to begin with, right? But to carry it about will only lead to us, ultimately, sinking beneath the weight, most often forcing us to toss it to someone else to carry for a while.
Shift happens.
If we are going to talk about the word fault, I prefer to think in geologic terms and plate tectonics. A fault, geologically speaking is a situation where the earth’s crust has been stretched and faulted to the point that rift valleys form. Imagine having two sections of your soul, Blame and Regret, moving relative to each other. This action causes us to become stretched and faulted to the point that rift valleys form in our spirits and souls, creating chasms and pockets that become too dangerous to explore. Dangerous because one never knows when there may be yet another seismic shift between the two relative forces.
Is there a better way to deal with the Plate Tectonics of our soul? Understand that Fault Lines exist. Be a scientist, measure, and plan for catastrophe accordingly. Keep away from the the edge of the plates when possible. Move inland to safer ground. Take a deep breath and hope for stability. Fault. It does no one any good. But it’s there, so be smart. And if shift happens? Channel that energy into something positive.
Your thoughts and feelings are simply disconnected . . .
Well, now. This is something that feels like familiar ground. Nothing newsworthy here.
Yes. My thoughts and feelings become disconnected. This is not an uncommon occurrence. But now what? What’s next? By taking this little quiz, I have implicated myself into wanting to better myself . . . to make my life better. So what’s going to help me to re-connect my thoughts and my feelings? How do I go about planning the big reunion? I think part of the answer is in Un-creating Stuck Feelings.
. . . creating Stuck feelings.
Stuck is as stuck does. Like love, debt, and what shoes to wear today, Stuck-ness is a decision. Making a decision is a mental activity. Making a decision makes the Stuck feelings go away. There is some magic in this . . . magic that involves you feeling inspired to make the decision to be Un-Stuck.
My best self-advice when I am feeling stuck?
Deep breaths. Think. Meditate. Dance. Call a friend. Be mindful. Breathe life’s goodness into my soul. And above all: Try something new. Albert Einstein is famously quoted for saying: Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. He also said, Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.
You can’t stay stuck if you aren’t standing still. Try something new. Say something kind to a stranger. Dance like a goof. Join a marimba band. Say you are sorry and make an action that shows it. Take the risk of making a mistake that, yes, might create even more self-blame and stuck feelings.
Like trying to get the stubborn lid off of a jar when you have wet hands, it ain’t going to happen until you take a moment to dry your hands. Tap the jar lid a few times with a knife. Run some hot water over the metal lid. Get out your handy-dandy Cap Snaffler. Do something. And you’ll get the lid off of the jar and, with any cosmic blessing, you’ll reconnect your thoughts and feelings into a better place and allow yourself to see a kinder reflection when you look around you.
The Unseen Words Project 